new year means there is something old

i am tired, i don't feel good, i am missing so many things and people who make up my past....how can i make the change necessary to make a new year a good one? somewhere inside me there must still be a light glow, the smallest ember to light a fire to warm my soul. how do i find it? there is so much darkness. i want to believe i can see it in the darkness. help me fight a good fight. please lord, help me, i am falling, i need you and i need the will to fight, give me strength....send your angels my way